7 RULES FOR CREATING (AND SUBSEQUENTLY PRESIDING OVER) A UNIVERSE
1. If you live in a collective of gods (e.g. sixteen benevolent gods that run weekly team-building exercises), then you will want to politely deal with them before creating your universe. Running a universe is an opinionated business, and shared ownership has not historically proven effective.
2. You may want to create a group of powerful minions to help you carry out your universe-building. If you do this, remember to leave these minions susceptible to corruption, so that a few of them may make a feeble attempt to usurp you—defeating them will make you look strong.
3. There may be some fallout to the minion coup. Often, the fallen usurpers create an Evil version of your world. Resist the urge to destroy this Evil Place of Suffering. It will prove useful later on.
4. Running a universe can get boring. This is probably because your first generation of minions is too similar to you—they are too obedient, and they do not suffer enough. Create suffering-enabled beings and a suffering-filled world for them to inhabit.
5. When your new creations complain about the harsh realities of their world, be sure to blame their suffering on their world (and to that extent, on them). Hope that they do not remember who designed them, and their world.
6. Remember your Evil Place of Suffering? Use it as a place to send the people who decide they do not like you. Important: make it clear that you had nothing to do with the Evil Place of Suffering. Imply that you cannot destroy it.
7. Do not forget to sprinkle in moments of happiness. Presiding over a race of suffering beings is less enjoyable if you do not have a carrot to dangle.